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Facing rejection, particularly when it occurs frequently, is anything but enjoyable. A publisher is saying no, delivering a definite “Not interested.” Working in writing, I am familiar with rejection. I commenced pitching articles 50 years back, just after finishing university. Since then, I have had several works turned down, along with article pitches and many short stories. Over the past score of years, focusing on commentary, the refusals have only increased. In a typical week, I get a rejection every few days—adding up to more than 100 annually. In total, rejections in my profession run into thousands. By now, I might as well have a advanced degree in rejection.

However, is this a woe-is-me outburst? Not at all. As, at last, at seven decades plus three, I have come to terms with rejection.

How Have I Managed It?

A bit of background: Now, just about each individual and their relatives has given me a thumbs-down. I’ve never tracked my success rate—that would be deeply dispiriting.

For example: lately, an editor turned down 20 submissions consecutively before saying yes to one. In 2016, over 50 book publishers vetoed my book idea before a single one approved it. A few years later, 25 literary agents declined a project. A particular editor even asked that I send my work only once a month.

My Steps of Rejection

When I was younger, all rejections hurt. I took them personally. It was not just my creation being rejected, but myself.

No sooner a piece was rejected, I would begin the “seven stages of rejection”:

• Initially, shock. What went wrong? How could editors be blind to my talent?
• Second, refusal to accept. Maybe you’ve rejected the incorrect submission? It has to be an mistake.
• Third, rejection of the rejection. What do editors know? Who appointed you to decide on my labours? It’s nonsense and their outlet is subpar. I refuse this refusal.
• Fourth, irritation at the rejecters, followed by anger at myself. Why do I subject myself to this? Am I a masochist?
• Subsequently, bargaining (often seasoned with false hope). What does it require you to recognise me as a exceptional creator?
• Then, sadness. I’m not talented. Additionally, I’ll never be any good.

I experienced this through my 30s, 40s and 50s.

Excellent Precedents

Certainly, I was in fine fellowship. Stories of writers whose work was originally turned down are legion. The author of Moby-Dick. Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein. The writer of Dubliners. The novelist of Lolita. The author of Catch-22. Virtually all renowned author was first rejected. Since they did succeed despite no’s, then perhaps I could, too. The basketball legend was cut from his youth squad. The majority of American leaders over the past six decades had been defeated in campaigns. The filmmaker claims that his script for Rocky and bid to appear were turned down repeatedly. He said rejection as an alarm to rouse me and get going, instead of giving up,” he stated.

Acceptance

As time passed, when I entered my later years, I reached the final phase of rejection. Acceptance. Today, I better understand the multiple factors why someone says no. For starters, an editor may have recently run a similar piece, or have one underway, or simply be considering that idea for someone else.

Or, unfortunately, my idea is of limited interest. Or the editor believes I lack the credentials or standing to be suitable. Or is no longer in the business for the content I am offering. Maybe was too distracted and reviewed my piece too quickly to see its value.

Go ahead call it an realization. Everything can be declined, and for any reason, and there is almost not much you can do about it. Some explanations for rejection are always out of your hands.

Your Responsibility

Others are under your control. Honestly, my proposals may occasionally be ill-conceived. They may lack relevance and impact, or the message I am struggling to articulate is poorly presented. Or I’m being obviously derivative. Maybe an aspect about my punctuation, especially commas, was annoying.

The point is that, despite all my long career and setbacks, I have managed to get recognized. I’ve written several titles—the initial one when I was 51, the next, a personal story, at retirement age—and over numerous essays. Those pieces have featured in publications large and small, in regional, worldwide platforms. My debut commentary was published when I was 26—and I have now written to various outlets for five decades.

However, no major hits, no book signings at major stores, no features on TV programs, no Ted Talks, no book awards, no big awards, no Nobel, and no national honor. But I can more readily take no at 73, because my, humble successes have cushioned the stings of my many rejections. I can choose to be philosophical about it all at this point.

Educational Rejection

Denial can be instructive, but provided that you pay attention to what it’s trying to teach. Or else, you will likely just keep interpreting no’s all wrong. What teachings have I learned?

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