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Sometimes, a 22-year-old from Los Angeles is convinced he is “the greatest person on planet Earth”. Living with narcissistic personality disorder, his periods of extreme self-importance often turn “detached from reality”, he states. You feel invincible and you tell yourself, ‘People will see that I’m better than them … I’ll do great things for the world’.”

For Spring, these times of heightened ego are often followed by a “sudden low”, a period when he feels sensitive and ashamed about his conduct, leaving him especially susceptible to disapproval from external sources. He first suspected he might have this personality condition after looking up his traits through digital sources – and was later confirmed by a specialist. But, he questions he would have accepted the diagnosis without having independently formed that realization personally. “If you try to tell somebody that they have the condition, {they’ll probably deny it|denial is a common response|they’re likely to reject it,” he comments – especially if they feel feelings of superiority. “They’re in a delusional world that they’ve constructed. And within that framework, I’m the greatest and {nobody can question me|no one should doubt me|my authority is absolute.”

Clarifying The Condition

While people have been labelled as narcissists for decades, the meaning can be ambiguous what is meant by the term. “Everyone calls everybody a narcissist,” says a leading researcher, noting the word is “applied too broadly” – but when it comes to a clinical identification, he notes many people conceal it, as there is so much stigma linked to the disorder. An individual diagnosed will tend to have “an exaggerated self-image”, “impaired compassion”, and “a tendency to exploit relationships to seek admiration through things like pursuing power,” the expert says. Those with NPD may be “extremely narcissistic”, to the point that {“they’re not able to hold down stable relationships|“their jobs are damaged|“they have a distorted view of reality,” he adds.

I’ve never cared about anyone really, so relationships weren’t a priority relationships seriously

Sex-Based Distinctions in The Disorder

Though up to 75% of people diagnosed with the condition are males, findings suggests this figure does not mean there are less female narcissism, but that female narcissism is frequently manifests in the less obvious variety, which is often overlooked. “Men’s narcissism tends to be a bit more accepted, similar to everything in society,” explains an individual who discusses her dual diagnosis on online channels. Frequently, the two disorders co-occur.

Individual Challenges

I find it difficult with dealing with feedback and rejection,” she shares, whenever it’s suggested that I am at fault, I tend to switch to defence mode or I completely shut down.” Despite having this response – which is often called “ego wounding”, she has been attempting to address it and take advice from her support system, as she aims to avoid falling into the harmful behaviour of her previous life. My past relationships were toxic to my partners in my youth,” she reveals. With professional help, she has been able to mitigate her NPD symptoms, and she explains she and her current boyfriend “have a dynamic where I’ve instructed him, ‘Should I make a harmful comment, if I say something manipulative, point it out {right then and there|immediately|in the moment’.”

She grew up mainly in the care of her father and notes she didn’t have supportive figures in her youth. It’s been a process of understanding all this time which behaviors are and is not appropriate to say when arguing because it wasn’t modeled for me as a kid,” she shares. “Nothing was off-limits when my family members were belittling me during my childhood.”

Root Causes of The Condition

These mental health issues tend to be connected with early life adversity. Genetics play a role,” explains a mental health specialist. But, when someone exhibits NPD characteristics, it is often “tied to that specific childhood circumstances”. Those traits were “a coping mechanism in some ways to survive at a very early age”, he adds, when they may have been ignored, or only shown love that was conditional on meeting certain expectations. They then “rely on those identical strategies as adults”.

Like several of the individuals with NPD, one individual thinks his parents “could also have the disorder. The adult says when he was a child, “the focus was always on them and their work and their social life. So it was like, don’t bother us.” When their attention turned to him, it came in the form of “intense expectations to achieve academic success and professional advancement, he recalls, which made him feel that if he didn’t achieve their goals, he wasn’t “good enough”.

When he became an adult, none of his relationships ever worked out. “I’ve never cared about anyone really,” he admits. Therefore, I never treated relationships seriously.” He felt incapable of experiencing genuine affection, until he met his current partner of three years, who is also dealing with a personality disorder, so, similar to his experience, struggles with feelings. She is “highly empathetic of the stuff that goes on in my head”, he says – it was surprisingly, she who first suspected he might have NPD.

Pursuing Treatment

After a visit to his GP, John was referred to a clinical psychologist for an diagnosis and was told his diagnosis. He has been recommended for talking therapy on the public health system (extended treatment is the primary approach that has been proven effective NPD patients, specialists note), but has been on the waiting list for an extended period: It was indicated it is probably going to be in a few months.”

Disclosure was limited to a small circle about his condition, because “prejudice is common that every person with NPD is harmful”, but, privately, he has accepted it. “It helps me to comprehend my actions, which is always a good thing,” he says. Those interviewed have come to terms with NPD and are pursuing treatment for it – leading them to be open to talk about it – which is likely not typical of all people with the condition. But the growth of online advocates and the expansion of digital groups point to {more narcissists|a growing number